Parenting.

Parenting is a very hard endeavor to embark on. Sometimes it's planned but the majority of time it's not! And that's a hard fact to admit for some. Sadly some walk away for a variety of reasons of which there are very few (if any) good reasons at all. I won't delve into those reasons here but I will say that for majority that stick around, parenting can be a confusing endeavor.

In 1993, I found myself having my first child out of wedlock at the age of 20. My girlfriend at the time was 17 when our first child was born. We both were middle children and raised in stable non divorce, non alcoholic & functional homes, yet we still didn't have a clue. We were young, naive and unrealistic. But we were blessed with supportive families and in hindsight, thanks to them, we weren't in dire straights. However, we did put ourselves behind the proverbial 8 ball. I worked at bakery and she was still in high school. The job at the bakery was sufficient to fill up my gas tank and take her out on the weekends but it was by no means a job to support a family. It wasn't going to cut it, I needed to do more.

By the time 1998 came around, we were heading in the right direction. I had got training and was in year 2 working for a company where I would go on to work for the next 20 years. Though not married still, we finally had a date set. It was at this time when I got the first real lesson about parenting.

I recall an afternoon when I was going out when my son exploded in rage and slammed something down in anger. Unfortunately, his mom and I had a very rocky relationship. And outbursts of anger were common on both parts but it was me that slammed things down, and it was me that had slammed a beeper against the floor it a fit of rage not too long before. It wasn't uncommon to sit down and end a round of video games when the controller wouldn't bounce off the floor. I was modeling behavior that my children were soaking up.

I remember specifically telling his mom, "he learned this from me." I felt ashamed and knew that if I didn't course correct then and there, that I would set the kids up for failure. I'm not saying there weren't any other mistakes and lack of judgement ever again. But this self awareness helped pave the way for setting better examples for the kids.

Parents, we must have self awareness of our actions. It's imperative when setting an example. I brought this up recently on a social media post and it wasn't well received. My aim was to help pass along wisdom that I learned the hard way.

I generally don't shy away from commenting on social media in regards to parenting. Because it's a job and a duty to parent if you become one. Regardless, of whether you planned it or "oops", we have a moral duty and obligation to be that which we're most likely not prepared to be. I never wanted to be a parent but am I glad I experienced this blessing. It was the hardest and weightiest thing I did. My job was to be a parent, and to prepare the kids to be adults. The good Lord answered many prayers and guided me through countless mistakes.

I make no apologies when the subject of parenting comes up. Not because I want to be a jerk but because I want to stress the importance of the job. It's is hands down the most important job you'll ever have! Literally, the future depends on it.

It appalls me how people don't see the importance of raising productive members of society and not a bunch of whiny self righteous children. The stories are a click away showing parents that enable horrendous criminal and immoral behavior.

And on the other side, are the deadbeat dads and moms. You cowards have been derelict of your duty. Even if that crappy behavior was modeled for you, you know it better than others what it feels like to be disregarded. Why would you then do it to your own kids?

Only molesters and murderers of children rank worse in my opinion.

Parenting isn't just about telling a kid to do their chores or helping with homework. Parenting is about setting the example before them for handling set backs, heart aches and just about anything. Up to and including your own death.

Yes, it's true that parenting never ends. Our kids may not depend on us any longer and if we parented as we should have, they should never "need" us. We should recognize where we fell short and celebrate our memories. We should be here to advise and consent in helping them be better parents than us.

"Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."

Colossians 3:21 KJV